The Silent Sister
by ShadowHunterofArtemis
Summary: Renee, daughter of Raziel, longs to be mortal, but wants to shield her best friend Alec from harm. When an unintentional rune changes Renee forever, she and Alec visit the Silent Brothers in the hopes of finding a safe home for her. Some Malec. Rated M to be safe. (Warning: self-harm & talk of suicide.) [It's my first story! Yay!]
1. Chapter 1

The Silent Sister

Renee flew into her room in a flurry of flames and tears. She collapsed onto the bed, face down amidst the clean white sheets. Opening her eyes, she saw the pallor of the soft coverings and screamed. There it was again - _the icy hands of Death creeping to her face, reaching out to stroke her cheek._

"Careful," warned Raziel. "You'll wake them up."

The angel was perched on the end of her bed, his crimson wings wrapped around him like a blanket. Renee rolled over, moaning.

"Just kill me," she begged. "Just let me die already."

"You know I could never do that," Raziel said evenly. "Get up and stop whining."

"I wish I'd never been born!" Renee screamed, turning onto her back dramatically. "I wish I could kill myself!"

Raziel sighed. "If only. I have thought that many times too. But we must bear it, my daughter. We must bear it."

Renee groaned and started to say something, but she heard the echo of wings and knew the angel had left.

There was a knock at the door. Renee wiped her eyes and called, "Come in!"

A skinny black-haired boy entered. He looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked. Renee snorted.

"Am _I_ okay? What about Jace? I almost _killed_ him, and you're asking if _I'm_ okay?"

Alec sat tentatively on the bed next to her. "I heard voices in here - I came to check on you. As for Jace, he'll be fine. He likes the attention, anyway."

Renee brushed her hair out of her face. "It's just ... I didn't mean to hurt him," she protested. "I thought it would work."

"Hey," Alec said. "You just wanted to experiment with your stele. It's not your fault that you're curious."

"No!" Renee yelled, her rage emerging. "Sorry - no. I've tried that rune on myself before and it's always worked."

Alec looked startled at this. Just then he clutched his forehead. "I don't suppose you have any tonic handy?" he asked, forcing a smile.

Renee frowned. "No. I can make you some if you'd like, but you really should tell Hodge."

Alec grunted, massaging his head. "Hodge can't make it as well as you," he argued. "Besides, I don't want him to blab to my parents."

Renee sighed. "I suppose," she relented. "I'll leave it outside your door."

Alec nodded wearily. He hugged her and left.

Renee grabbed her seraph and a goblet by her bed. She dug in her satchel for her last vial of holy water. Then she spread a handkerchief over her desk and placed the goblet on top. She filled it with holy water, about a third of the cup. Taking her seraph blade, she whispered, "Raziel," and the blade illuminated. She struck her wrist. The blood that poured was gold and red; it ran in little rivers down her hand, dropping into the cup at her fingertips. Renee let it fall until she was satisfied and swirled the goblet around, making a pale gold colour. Sighing, Renee cleaned the cut with the handkerchief and drew the healing rune on her forearm. She lay back on her bed.

No one invited her to dinner, not even Alec. Renee would have turned them down anyway. She flipped through the Gray Book, admiring the runes. Sometimes she doodled on the pages, adding her own Marks and changing the existing ones.

On the wall, her clock read nine. She picked up the goblet and knocked on the door next to hers. There was no answer. Renee put the goblet at the threshold and returned to her room.

At midnight, she was still awake. She donned a robe and knocked on Alec's door again.

He was wearing pajamas, but they were fresh and his hair was neat. "Couldn't sleep?"

Renee shook her head. Alec closed the door behind her.

They curled up in his bed side by side, and she put her arm around him. "I came earlier," Renee said. "Where were you?"

Alec sighed. "I was in the infirmary - visiting Jace."

"Oh."

Alec gave a little moan and closed his eyes, leaning back. "Wren," he started. "Wren, he wants me to - for us to be ... _parabatai._ "

Renee said nothing. "And?" she prompted finally.

"Wren, I -" Alec looked at her, and his eyes said what words could not. _I love him._

"I know," said Renee.

She took his hand and prayed to her father. _Please, Raziel,_ she begged, _show me something to help him._

There was a little flicker of hesitation, then the images churned before her: a cat's eyed warlock, smiling at an older Alec and winking, then his door as the warlock went in. Renee didn't have time to read all of it, though, before the images were ripped from her eyes like film from a projector.

"Wren?" Alec was looking at her, a mix of concern and wariness on his face. It hurt to see that.

"Go to sleep," she whispered.

Alec lay back on his pillow, but he looked uncertain. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Renee nodded urgently. "I won't," she agreed. "I swear it on my father."

Alec closed his eyes, comforted, but just before he slipped into the subconscious he murmured, "You're father's dead."

Renee turned over and thought, _If only he was._

She awoke early and slipped out, grabbing her now empty goblet as she went. Maryse and Robert, being traditional, would never have approved of their relationship. Alec and Renee were just friends, but even being friends with Renee Matyre was dangerous.

Renee remained in her room all day, drawing runes and occasionally making the Marks on her arms. She drew ones for Memory, Craft, Luck; but mostly she drew Pain. It hurt, but they were like bee stings - silver pinpricks that vanished in seconds. The pain on her skin seemed to numb her heart; she wanted to avenge Jace, and wanted to hurt her father. Her stupid father, who'd had an affair with her Shadowhunter mother, then let her die as she bore her immortal child, and let her live as a freak amidst people who cared nothing for her.

Bored with beestings, Renee paged through the Gray Book. She glanced at a rune and froze. _Agony._

Maybe it would be enough.

Hands trembling, Renee carved the rune into her skin.

She felt nothing, but a scream poured from her lips anyway. There was no pain, nor any other sensation - Renee could only imagine that her nerves had been shot.

The scream increased. Renee began to twitch, writhing on her bed. She worried someone would hear; no one must hear. Feverishly she flipped through the Gray Book, looking for something to stop it. She scratched the healing rune onto her forearm, but her stele mad a jagged, uncontrolled line down her arm as her hand twitched. She could feel her throat grow hoarse, feel the flames of agony creep through her body; she had to stop the scream, the scream that had been building up for years but only now unleashed itself.

Losing controlled thought, Renee made one last attempt at a Mark. She dizzily scribbled upon her bare leg, a basic rune that meant "Silence". As soon as the rune was complete, Renee felt her lips fuse together, and her eyes roll back in her head. For only an instant she felt the torture that must have been coursing through her body - then it was over.

First her sight returned, but the scene was only in the back of her mind, watered down and delayed. Tentatively she touched her eyes and found empty skin, the hollows where her eyes had once been now completely frozen over by flesh.

Touching the rest of her face gingerly, she discovered that her mouth had been fused shut. She felt jagged stitches across her lips, pulling them together. Slowly, carefully, she faced the mirror. Her hair, raven black and streaked with red, was the only unchanged thing in her appearance. Her naturally fair skin had paled drastically, turning a bluish white; and her fingers, which she raised to her accentuated cheekbones, had thinned to bonelike sticks, while her knuckles bulged prominently.

Renee screamed, a sound that resonated through her mind and twisted in the air, unheard by mortal ears - only perceived through the soul. It penetrated the walls and, quite suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Terrified someone would see her, Renee flung a cloak over her shoulders and pulled up the hood. In it, she felt like a ghost - white and shrouded in darkness. She eased the door open a crack.

It was Alec. "Wren?" he asked cautiously. "Is that you?"

Fear welled up in her throat. She hesitated - then pulled his shoulder.

"What are you -?" He broke off, fighting her. "Hodge will wonder where I am!"

Renee slammed the door. She reached up and pulled her hood back, shaking her long straight hair free. She didn't want to look at Alec, but she forced her head up.

Alec's eyes widened drastically, showing his pale blue irises. His face read a single emotion: surprise. Renee was unsure whether that was a good thing.

 _I'm sorry,_ she thought hopelessly. Alec touched his forehead gently, as if something odd had brushed it.

"Don't be," he assured her. "What happened?" He showed no fear, but his voice trembled like dry leaves.

Focusing her mind on the words, Renee thought as hard as she could, _I used the Silence rune._

Alec's jaw dropped. "Show it to me," he said.

Renee flipped through her discarded Gray Book until she found it. She pointed a gnarled finger.

Alec gasped. "That's _the_ Silence rune - my parents told me about it. It's very dangerous, and it's a big deal if you use it. The only people who survive it join a group called the Silent Brothers. They're all ... like you now."

 _Deformed?_ Renee suggested bitterly.

Alec frowned, but he didn't argue. "I thought they were all boys, though."

Renee was silent - which she now exceeded at.

"Wren," Alec started, "we need to tell someone - Hodge or my parents or -"

 _No._ Renee's thought was cold and final. _We'll go to the Silent Brothers._

"But - how?" Alec asked. "We don't know where it is, and how would we get there if we did?"

Renee closed her mind so that even her sight was gone. _Father, show me the Silent Brothers,_ she prayed. She saw the city at night, felt her sight zoom in to a statue, and watched as its eyes opened into darkness. The vision cut off abruptly.

 _I know where it is,_ Renee told Alec.

"But how will we get there?" he repeated.

Renee grabbed her stele and twirled it in her fingers. _We fly._

Alec paled. "Isn't that - wasn't that the rune you used - tried to use on Jace?"

 _It will work on us,_ Renee insisted. She lifted her stele, but Alec grasped her wrist.

"I'm not sure," he said, and there was a firmness in his voice that hadn't been there before. "What's different about us from Jace?"

Renee couldn't honestly answer that question. _Then don't go. I'll find it myself._

"No," protested Alec. He reached out again, but Renee shook him off. She pulled up her sleeve and began the Winged rune. It was a looping, carefree Mark, with flowing lines that danced across her milky skin. She had done the Mark before, but it retained its magical quality. She let the rune's power flow through her veins gravitating to her shoulder blades. It pushed at her flesh, surging against her muscles, coursing to emerge. Then emerge it did, in the form of two shimmering charcoal wings. Renee flapped them twice, and as the light caught them they glistened crimson. The only thing missing was the sound, of beating feathers and windswept hair.

Alec's cheeks were flushed with astonishment. He reached out to touch a feather, and stroked it with a gentleness that was unknown and unwelcome in Shadowhunters.

 _See?_ Renee gloated. _I don't know why it didn't work on Jace_ \- though she did - _but it works on us._

Alec probably would have protested if it weren't for the fact that he might be getting wings. He sighed and held out his left hand. Renee drew the Mark on him, with the same swirling dance of lines. She stepped back soundlessly and waited for the wings to show.

They were pale blue, the colour of his eyes, and shimmered jet black as they moved. His wings were slightly smaller than Renee's, making him look less ... angelic. Alec flapped them clumsily, but for him the whoosh of air was audible.

"This is amazing," he marveled. Renee nodded agreement. She opened the door.

"We're going through the Institute? But ... are you sure?" Alec whispered.

Renee nodded. She flew low in the corridor, beating her wings silently. Alec followed, louder and more clumsily.

They passed the library and the infirmary. In the former, Isabelle sat alone with Hodge, looking bored as she doodled runes on a piece of scrap paper. In the infirmary, Jace lay in bed idly. Renee caught a glimpse of a fading Mark on his forearm and immediately felt guilty.

They reached the door and Alec held it open for her. Renee tried to give him a smile of thanks, but her mouth felt stretched and unnatural so she dropped it.

"Ready?" Alec asked her. Renee nodded. Together, they soared over the gate, Alec's smaller wings fluttering hard to keep up.

They flew over Manhattan in the light of the setting sun, but only one pair of beating wings was audible. Even Renee's heartbeat was silent.

Just as the last rays of sunlight disappeared, Alec's wings vanished. He screamed as he fell, a ripping shriek of fear. Renee flew faster than he fell, dropping like a stone. She grabbed his arm and continued to drop, slower but still at a wild pace.

When they were a foot from the ground Renee's wings disappeared as well. They tumbled to the ground, but Renee's fall was silent. She helped Alec up and turned around. There loomed a great statue of Raziel, holding the Mortal Cup with closed eyes.

Alec frowned at it. "What now?"

In one swift motion, Renee grabbed a dagger out from Alec's belt. he reached to stop her, but she pulled away. She slashed a thin line across her wrist and let the blood drip into the goblet; in the darkness it looked brown, but Renee knew what it really was.

 _Blood of the Nephilim,_ she explained. _It should work as a key._

Sure enough, Raziel's eyes opened as though he had awoken from his slumber. The earth split at his feet, revealing a set of stairs descending into darkness. Renee stepped onto them without hesitation and Alec followed, slower than her.

The wall was lined with torches, leading ever downward. Below, where shadows overpowered light, indistinct figures dressed in pale robes moved, looking like twinkling stars amidst the folds of blackness.

Renee and Alec were greeted at the foot of the stairs by a tall, wraith-like brother. _We were not expecting you,_ he told them. _Shadowhunters are not to come without appointment._

Alec's fear played across his face clearly. "This is kind of an emergency."

Renee removed her hood and let the brother see her face.

 _You are female?_ he spoke in her mind. Alec appeared not to have heard anything. Renee nodded. _No female has ever survived the transformation - not many men, either._

 _I am Brother Jeremiah,_ the brother added, and this time Alec nodded as if he'd heard.

 _I am Renee Matyre,_ Renee said mentally.

They walked further in before the Brother Jeremiah turned to Alec, a cold firmness in his nearly expressionless face. _You have delivered your package, Shadowhunter,_ he said. _Now go._

Alec trembled as he spoke. "You're just as much of a Shadowhunter as I am," he replied, in an attempt to be brave. "I want to stay."

Brother Jeremiah looked sour but did not object. He continued walking, and Alec and Renee followed.

The entire city was silent except for Alec's footsteps, which seemed deafening by comparison as they echoed in the din.

They entered a hall inlaid with decorations of stars that seemed to dance across the floor. Brother Jeremiah spread his arms, his robes plummeting downward like the wings of a great white bat. He stood like that for a few seconds, and from the way the rest of the brothers looked at him Renee supposed he was commun-icating with them.

A few seconds more, and Brother Jeremiah turned back to Renee. The brothers nodded soundlessly in unison. _Renee Matyre,_ Jeremiah spoke in her mind, _you shall join our ranks as a Silent Brother._

There was a cold shock that jolted through Renee, like being plunged into ice water. Then, as though someone had pulled a lever, she heard the chatter of a thousand silent, wispy voices - the brothers as they spoke.

Alec looked at her sheepishly. "I guess ... I guess I should be getting back now," he mumbled.

Renee nodded. _I can mark you with the Winged rune again, if you'd like,_ she offered.

Alec looked tense. "It's just ... what if it doesn't work on me this time? It nearly killed Jace, so maybe it's just dumb luck."

Renee almost laughed, but her present body seemed to reject the motion. _Haven't you figured it out? The wings, the tonic - surely you've guessed._

Alec looked truly perplexed. Renee gave an inward sigh and showed where the last traces of blood lingered on her wrist. _See?_ she continued. _That's angel blood. My father is Raziel._

Alec stood, quiet as a Silent Brother, in shock and disbelief. "The - the tonic?" he asked dazedly.

 _Blood mixed with holy water,_ Renee explained evenly. _You have more angel blood than nearly any Shadowhunter._

Alec looked repulsed, and Renee felt a flush of shame in the small part of her soul that remained mortal.

"That's why I could stand the Mark?" Alec asked. Renee nodded. There was a full stop.

"I'd better go," he said awkwardly. Renee could see him clearly in the back of her mind that was now her sight. She knew he would never come back to see her, would cut off all ties to her. She grabbed his hand and projected the visions Raziel had shown her, of the amber-eyed warlock who'd winked at Alec.

The vision shut off and Alec stumbled back. "Magnus - Magnus Bane?" he gasped, but Renee had left him.

That night, as she slipped into her white robe, Raziel visited her for the last time. "You could have been great, you know," he told her. "You would have been the most powerful Shadowhunter alive."

 _And yet I chose this,_ Renee replied. She turned to the angel. _Are you angry, Father?_

"Not angry," Raziel answered, "just rather surprised. You should have been a mundane, with your humility. There is no place for modest Shadowhunters."

Renee looked up at the towering ceilings of the Silent City, and watched the brothers glide smoothly through the halls. _Yes, there is._


	2. Chapter 2

Four years passed. Alec never visited, though Renee had never expected him to. The brothers took to calling her Brother Renee, and she was treated like their equal. One day, however, Jeremiah hurried towards her - the brothers _never_ hurried.

 _Shadowhunters are coming,_ he told her. Their minds were so close now that he did not even have to use words, just _thought_ it in that liquid, fluid way that is the language of the mind.

 _Why?_ Renee was instantly alert.

 _There is a memory block on one of their minds,_ Jeremiah explained. _I am going to see them in the hopes of diverting them, but it is likely they will come anyway. Be prepared._

 _Wouldn't it be easier just to tell them about me?_ Renee asked.

 _The Clave are traditional; they may not approve of a female joining our ranks. Our guild was created at a time when women were not allowed to fight, much less reveal their intelligence. Some members of the Clave still feel that way - and they all stick to tradition, regardless._

 _So I must hide?_ Renee didn't mean to sound impertinent, but it came out like that.

 _You must take caution,_ Jeremiah corrected her.

Renee nodded and bid him good day. Then, her long white robe sweeping the floor, she walked back through the city.

 _Shadowhunters coming here._ Alec... As much as Renee tried to deny it, she missed him. She had never known true happiness, not even with the brothers, but Alec had brought her as close as she could get. Perhaps she could talk to him ...

But he wouldn't come; she knew that. So when she saw two figures, accompanied by Brother Jeremiah, descending the stairs, her heart didn't even bother to skip a beat of hope. She pulled up her hood to shield her face, and loosened her belt for a more masculine shape. Renee's face was now practically unrecognizable, but her hair and build were.

Oddly, she was more surprised by the familiar face than the new one. Jace's gold hair and luminous eyes had emerged, pronouncing him quite good-looking and rather attractive. Renee's last view of him had been as he lay in the infirmary four years ago, and she found this development unexpected. Beside him stood a petite redhead who looked nervous - probably the one with the memory block. There was a strange aura around the two, even though they seemed peaceful; Renee could feel an odd power that to her felt hostile, like it didn't belong there.

"Demon blood," Raziel whispered into her ear, spitting the words in disgust. "Foolish Nephilim."

Startled, Renee stumbled and fell, her hood slipping down. It was silent, but the movement caught Jace's eye and he turned. As the redhead was led into the hall of speaking stars, Jace pushed through the throng of brothers to Renee. "Wren?" he asked, but his tone sounded almost mocking. He offered and hand, but Renee ignored it and pushed herself up, pulling her hood back over her eyes. "Is that you?"

Acting on a sudden idea, Renee recalled the voice of Brother Jeremiah and replied, _Wren was the nickname of a scared little girl. You are mistaken._

But Jace was already pushing back her hood, reaching out to a streak of fiery red hair.

This just angered Renee more, fueling the overpowering fury she felt standing so close to him. Jace's charms had never worked on her, and now his attempt to use them had backfired. _Do not touch me, Jace Wayland,_ she warned him. _And if you mention this to anyone, you will wish you_ had _touched me so that I could have killed you then._

She tossed her hair angrily and drew her hood back up. Then she followed the rest of the brothers; Jace trailed behind.

They stood in a circle around the redheaded girl, the torches' flames casting an eerie red glow over their pale robes. Renee slipped between two archivists timidly.

 _Brothers._ It was Judas, the oldest among them. _We will attempt to break the block placed upon this mind using our own. Delve into this shadowhunter's memories in an attempt to breach the wall that has been placed therein. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Now!_

Renee dove. She'd never done this before, but it felt easy, natural even. Memories flew past, memories that meant nothing to her; then, in a flourishing, looping thought, Renee saw his name. The sound of a body hitting the ground cut the vision off, and as the redhead lay panting on the floor a thin, slicing pain cut through Renee's mouth. Gingerly she touched her lips, and when she pulled away her fingertips were spotted with red-gold blood. She'd tried to gasp, a movement she hadn't used in four years. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and tucked her hand behind her back.

Magnus Bane. How ... ?

Renee didn't even bother trying to comprehend. She resigned herself to silence for the remainder of the day, not even conversing with the brothers.

Perhaps she was expecting some kind of sign. Something from Alec, saying, _Oh, Renee, thanks for the help meeting my soul mate!_ or something similar. A message or a token, anything to acknowledge her and her vision.

Renee was almost excited weeks later when the Inquisitor descended into the Silent City, Jace at her heels in handcuffs. But it was just them, just the Inquisitor with her harsh words and Jace in ashamed silence.

"Get me a cell," she barked at a young brother. Brother John, to whom she was speaking, nodded respectfully and obliged, but Renee, watching from afar, saw his stiffness as he unlocked the door leading to the prison. Renee watched, lurking in the shadowed doorway, as Jace was chained and locked into a cell. She flew silently up the steps as the Inquisitor and Brother John turned to leave.

Night fell; the torches burned low and the brothers drifted around like ghosts - Renee included. She suppressed a growing unease and tried to concentrate on the names engraved on the mausoleums. Fenrir Starmark, Vivian Dire, Amadeus Lightwing -

Suddenly a torch died out, exposing a small circle of darkness. Then another, then another, till the hallways were black save for patches of white marble. The silence which had always seemed so peaceful was suddenly eerie, freezing the halls in its eternal soundlessness. All the while shadows seeped through the flaws on the floor; casting darkness into the thin spaces between mausoleums; turning blacker the hollow eye sockets of skulls with which daunting, ghostly pillars stretching to the cavernous roof were crafted.

Renee listened hard, trying to hear the conversing of the brothers, perhaps Judas in an attempt to soothe the unease and growing wariness. But there was silence - utter, complete, endless silence, that sat frigid and tense in the blackened air. Horrified by the emptiness, Renee began to sing in her head:

 _Darkness falls, my love, my love_

 _Dreams call, my love, my love_

 _Silence answers in the still black night_

 _Darkness falls, my love, my love._

Just as she got to the third line for the second time, there was a scream. It flew at her, silver and piercing like a knife at first; then greater and rounder, writhing like a fat, deadly serpent. It was more than pain - it was horror, sheer, jarring horror that beckoned demons and monsters as its creator begged for mercy.

Renee stood, frozen as the silence that hovered around her, and listened to the tortured shriek resonating through the Bone City; and she knew, without a wisp of doubt, that the mouth from which the scream had originated had been pried open, its stitches ripped from its lips, and its parched tongue stretched out. It was the scream of a Silent Brother.

It was met by another cry, which enlightened the first and sent them soaring up to the roof, then hurtling downward like falling arrows, threatening to pierce Renee's heart and soul. So went this daring dance of screams, higher and thinner and sharper; then plummeting lower and rounder, growing louder with every turn as more voices joined its terrible song.

And Renee curled up between two mausoleums, wishing she could sob.

She could see near to nothing, but perceived a broken body flying towards her. A white-robed, blue lipped corpse landed atop her, broken limbs flailing helplessly. Repulsed, Renee pushed the body away, her robes mottled with scarlet. She recognized the face - it was Brother John.

She clamored out of her hiding spot and tried to throw up. For the first time in four years she imagined Death reaching out to her, inviting her to join his realm, but tonight it was a lifeless brother who stretched his hands to her face.

Silence ensued, but it was the silence of Death, and it was ugly and bruised. Renee strained to see anything in the darkness until she snatched a glimpse of a silver mirror. It sat alone in the hall of speaking stars, its flawless reflection giving a little light to the room. Its frame was ebony and ivory, portraying twisted faces that shrieked almost audibly. Terrified but entranced, Renee stepped towards it.

In it, she was a girl again, her pale skin met with striking black eyes that glittered like the ebony of the mirror's frame; her raven hair was streaked with locks of crimson. She looked otherworldly, a terrifying beauty hanging over her. Renee watched as she grew older - a young woman, an adult - but the mirror didn't stop there. Her looks slowly declined, giving way to saggy skin and sunken cheeks. Still she grew; she could not die, would not die, and was rewarded with an ever-aging body. Her ancient skin browned; her hair fell out; her teeth were lost at some point. She was a decaying corpse, then a mummified body, a skeleton, a pile of dust; but she was still alive, in eternal pain.

Renee despaired, for she would be miserable forever.

Raziel whispered in her ear, "Your worst fear is your greatest strength. Use it to your advantage."

 _She could not die._

Fury coursing alongside her blood, Renee braced herself and punched the mirror as hard as she could. Shards flew everywhere; her fist was soaked in red-gold blood. There was a roar and the mirror was swallowed by a terrible, sludgy blue-black demon. Renee tensed, adrenaline dancing through her veins like electricity. She had no weapon, only a stele. What would Jace do?

 _Shit!_ Renee thought. The brothers did not approve of profanities, but such circumstances called for one. Renee sprinted out of the room. She had no clue where the key was; no idea how to open the cell. She needed help, and there was only one place she knew to turn to.

Renee ran up the flight of stairs and pressed the rune on the ceiling, the one that opened the tunnel from below. Behind her, the demon's roar echoed in the Bone City. The earth above her pulled apart and she jumped the last few steps, avoiding stepping on the hem of her robe.

It had rained recently; the bald patches of earth had melted to mud; splattering her white skirt as Renee dashed over them. A low bush covered in brambles caught her robe and tugged, ripping a long gash in the fabric. Irritated, Renee ripped the entire lower portion of her robe off so it came down to her knees, revealing black leather boots and leggings underneath. She pulled off her sleeves so they just skimmed her elbows. She dropped the clothes and checked for her stele.

Not bothering to pause for the intricacies of her Mark, Renee savagely wrote on her bony white wrist. She felt the energy pour to her shoulder blades in a swirling, golden river.

Wings outstretched, Renee flew silently into the night.

She wasn't sure of the way, but soaring through the New York twilight pulled at strands of memory, and she turned on instinct. Wind teased her hair, and a fine mist kissed her face; the daunting Institute peeked through the skyline. Renee urged herself faster.

Over the fence she hurtled, nearly crashing into the wall. Perhaps in the library -

Renee tapped urgently on the window, but to no avail. Not even Hodge sat at the desk. Beginning to despair, she considered flying to all the windows in the hopes of attracting some attention, but it would take far too long. Using her last idea, Renee thought as hard as she could, _ALEC!_

She felt something - some little shard of recognition inside the walls. Encouraged, Renee continued, _IN THE LIBRARY!_

Five anxious minutes of nothing. Then a light snapped on, and Renee frantically resumed her tapping - _pat-pat, pat-pat._ Her long, sharp nails clicked on the glass like raindrops.

Alec ran toward the window, his hair flopping across his cheeks, and Renee almost plummeted in shock. He still had a lean, slim build, but he had gained muscles - noticeable muscles - in his arms. Inky runes stood out on his alabaster skin, matching his hair; it was still thin, but now had a windswept, feathery look. Only his blue eyes were unchanged.

Isabelle strode up next to him, looking for what had caught Alec's attention. She was the summer to his winter; her skin looked lightly tanned, and her hair flashed with hints of cocoa that matched her eyes - brown like her father's.

Alec opened the window, and Renee flew back a few feet as it swung open. "Wren?" he gasped.

Renee nodded. _May I come in?_

As she glided in through the tall window, Isabelle asked, "Wren? As in Renee Matyre? Wasn't she that orphan girl who stayed with us for a few months, the one you were friends with?"

Alec glared at her as he helped Renee down from the windowsill. "We were _all_ friends with her. And yes, this is her."

Renee jumped lightly off the sill. Her boots had left red stains on the white.

"But what happened to her?" Isabelle asked, motioning to Renee but still looking at Alec.

Alec pushed his hair back awkwardly. "It's a long story," he admitted.

 _I was turned into a Silent Brother,_ Renee summarized dully.

"But Wren, what happened?"

Hearing that question brought back all the death, all the fear; and Renee heard the question: _What happened? What happened?_ It rattled around in her mind, prodding memories. Her wings flapped dully and disappeared; sweat steadily darkened her robe. She could feel the blood on her chest course in time to her own, taste the rich, sticky mud that had splattered her pants.

For the second time that night, Renee tried to vomit.

Alec touched her arms and led her to a chair. He tried to soothe her, but she waved him away. Her spine straightened and she began.

 _There's been an attack on the Silent City,_ she started. _The Silent Brothers - they're dead. All dead. There was a demon I think killed them. I saw him. You need to save Jace,_ she continued. _I don't know where the key is, so you'll have to think of something else. But_ be careful: _the demon may still be there._

She buried her face in her hands as Alec and Isabelle exchanged glances. "We have to go," Izzy said. "I can't stand to think of Jace all alone in there, surrounded by the dead brothers -"

Renee felt sick. Alec glared at Isabelle and rubbed Renee's back. "We need to find you some place to stay," he told her. "You shouldn't come with us, not after what you've been through, but I don't think we could take you anywhere. Would you be okay to fly if we gave you an address?"

Renee lifted her head and nodded. Her face was streaked with golden blood.

Alec grabbed a sticky note and scribbled something on it. He folded it up as though embarrassed of its contents, then said, "Give that to - to him when you get there. We'd better go let Clary and Max know where we're going."

 _Thank you,_ Renee thought. Isabelle and Alec gave tentative waves and left the library. Renee rewrote the Mark and stretched her new wings. Before she flew off, however, she glanced at the address.

 _Magnus Bane,_ it said.


	3. Chapter 3

Alec had given her an address; he had not, however, given her instructions to said address, or more specifically instructions via sky. And so Renee soared over Brooklyn, trying to guess where the infamous Magnus Bane resided.

After much diving and several false leads, Renee found the house. She landed neatly on the front steps and knocked hesitantly on the bright red door.

A rather fat white cat pranced out of a golden cat flap, rubbing against Renee's legs. The warmth felt good, comforting; a reassurance of life on a night of infinite death.

The door was jerked inwards by a disgruntled warlock. "No walk-ins after four," he told Renee, and started to close the door.

 _Wait_ , Renee protested. _Alec sent me. I'm a friend of his._

The warlock's amber eyes shifted at that. "Ah. Well, come in - and pick up Chairman Meow. The night air is very bad for his throat."

Obediently, Renee grabbed the white cat under its front legs and hauled it in.

When the door was shut, the warlock spun on Renee. In the light of the front hall, Renee could see he was covered head to toe in body glitter. "Okay," he said, "what are you?"

 _I beg your pardon?_ Renee replied indignantly.

"I asked what you are. You're obviously not a human, though you don't look much like a demon, either; not a warlock, though possibly a faerie."

Renee crossed her arms. _Are you always this rude?_

"I prefer to think of it as charmingly up-front," Magnus shrugged.

Renee was about to walk out the way she came in, but then Magnus continued, "Of course, you could be a vampire - you're certainly pale enough."

Renee turned and punched him in the face.

"Ow," Magnus said smugly. His amber eyes glittered.

 _The only reason Alec even knows you exist,_ Renee told him slowly, _is because of me. I gave him your name when we were twelve._

"Well, darling," Magnus said, "I hate to burst your bubble, but we met by chance."

Renee hadn't expected that, but she took it into account and replied, _You do realize that he only gave you a second glance because_ I _mentioned you? Don't even try to argue, warlock._

Taking his silence as surrender, Renee triumphantly pushed past him into the living room. Her wings long gone, she flopped down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. Chairman Meow jumped up and curled up on her chest, purring. He covered the largest red spot left on her robe with his fur. _John's blood,_ Renee reminded herself. She pushed the cat off.

Magnus came and sat down in the La-Z Boy recliner across from her. He studied her with a certain attention that, under normal circumstances, Renee would have felt uncomfortable with, but she let him stare. She counted the seconds - one mississippi, two mississippi, three -

She'd gotten to one hundred and sixty-four when Magnus spoke. "I don't really like this phrase," he began, "and frankly, I don't really mean it, but if it will appease you: I'm sorry."

Renee rolled over so she was facing away from him.

 _I'm a Silent Brother,_ she said.

"Fair enough," Magnus replied, and although Renee couldn't see him she knew he was shrugging his shoulders. "Although, judging from your emotions, some kind of massacre has occurred?"

Renee faced him in disbelief. _You can tell that from the way I'm acting?_

"Well, that and the fact that you're covered in blood, your robe is a sight, you flew here alone, and I occasionally get glimpses of the future."

Renee sat up. _You knew - you knew what was going to happen, and you didn't tell -_ She trembled.

Magnus, for once, looked sincere. "They're _glimpses_ \- all I saw was a pitch-black Silent City and a couple of brothers. Besides, when has it ever been in a Downworlder's interest to help a Shadowhunter?"

 _You're helping me,_ Renee pointed out.

She could have sworn Magnus was blushing. "That's different," he protested. "I'm doing a favour - not for you, I might add."

Renee started, _I don't see what's different -_

Magnus interrupted her. "Phew!" he exclaimed, checking a nonexistent watch. "Bed time! Lights out, everyone! Now I come to think of it, though, I don't actually know your name." He held out his hand in mock enthusiasm.

Renee looked down at it, then back up at his face. She shook her head solemnly.

"Come on," Magnus begged.

Reluctantly, Renee took it. _Renee Matyre._

"Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn." He clapped his hands. "So, now that we're all introduced, time for bed!"

He strode through the doorway, but then swung back, grinning. "Don't forget to floss!"

A pillow punched his chest. Laughing, he walked out.

Renee sat alone on the couch for the night, exhausted but unable to rest. Normally, Silent Brothers never needed sleep, but Renee had given up normality long ago. Still it was rare for her to tire, so her longing for slumber surprised her. She sat wearily on the sofa, absentmindedly petting Magnus's cat. What had he called him - Chairman Meow?

 _What a stupid name for a cat,_ Renee thought as she scratched behind the feline's ears. _If you had been mine,_ she told it, _I would have named you Snowdance or Windpearl._

Chairman Meow purred.

Renee had had a pet, once. She had lived in the Edinburgh Institute for a while after leaving Idris, as she'd done when she was ten years old. The head of the Institute, a stiff, strict woman named Marjorie Aspengold, had disliked Renee the moment she'd appeared on her doorstep, but being a Shadowhunter, could not openly refuse another Nephilim refuge. Instead Marjorie had punished Renee by isolating her, planting suspicions in her children's minds, and her children in turn whispered those rumors to their friends. She was a demon, they said; some speculated that she was the child of a faerie and a Shadowhunter; others guessed she was a warlock. They all believed she was part demon, but no one would have guessed she was instead part angel.

One morning, when Renee had slipped out into the frosty Scottish air, she had found a baby bird half frozen from cold. Taking pity on it, Renee took him inside and raised him on scraps from the kitchen. Soon the baby had grown into a healthy young sparrow, whom she named Brownrose. She tried to release him back into the wild, but the little bird stubbornly clung to her finger. She taught Brownrose songs, songs she'd heard from lone troubadours on the country roads of Idris; and one that played in her head without origin, singing:

 _Darkness falls, my love, my love_

 _Dreams call, my love, my love_

 _Silence answers in the still black night_

 _Darkness falls, my love, my love._

She fancied it was her mother's song, one she'd sung to her stomach as Renee had curled up in her womb.

Brownrose sang that particular song day and night. One afternoon when Renee was out, Marjorie's son, Madrek Aspengold (who was a sniveling twit of a boy) heard the bird's sweet song and tattled to his mama. An hour later Renee returned to find Marjorie standing triumphantly in her room, poor little Brownrose trapped in one great fist.

"You are a warrior," Marjorie boomed. "You are not meant to love such petty creatures as birds."

"But aren't we to show kindness?" ten-year-old Renee asked.

Marjorie Aspengold held out the sparrow and a silver dagger. "Kill it," she commanded.

Renee took the poor bird in her fingers. "I won't," she said defiantly. "He's my friend, and I love him."

There the little thing lay, cupped in her palms. Before Renee could do anything to stop her, Marjorie stabbed downward.

Brownrose died in the arms (or rather, hands) of the person who loved him most.

The dagger skimmed Renee's palm as well, and when she lifted her hand to wipe the tears that were quickly falling, Marjorie Aspengold saw the golden blood bubbling from her cut.

Renee had left the next day.

She sat awake, lost in memories, until dawn. At around seven Magnus emerged, wearing only an indigo robe that didn't go down nearly far enough. Renee would have blushed if she could have.

"So, how's the little early bird?" he asked Renee, sitting down next to her.

Renee moved away. _The little early bird does not need sleep, and therefore is not technically early. Furthermore, she is not a bird._

Magnus cocked his head. "You remind me of a vampire I once knew. Raphael Santiago - he stayed with me awhile.

"Anyway," he continued, getting up and stretching so his robe barely skimmed his thighs, "I feel like yesterday we kind of got off to a bad start. So, how about we try some therapy: I'll say something I like about you, and you say something you like about me. You start."

Renee could not believe the warlock was making her do this, but she decided to play along. _I love your marvelous sense of fashion,_ she told him monotonously, completely poker-faced.


End file.
